I’ve always been big on control. I liked to be in charge of what was happening at work and at home. I had learned control at an early age. When no one is in control you have to do it yourself. I always imagined worse case scenarios when my children were growing up. I worried about everything. This was brought home to me in the last couple weeks. Our oldest Great-Grandson had a fever.
Our Granddaughter had told me he was not feeling well the night before but was now fine and playing and eating well in the morning. I waited a couple days and sent a text inquiring how things were going. I didn’t get an answer. My imagination went wild. It is not uncommon for children to run a fever and then feel better in the morning but then the fever might come back in the evening and then they are sick. The longer the text went unanswered the more I worried. I was checking my texts every five minutes. Then I thought that perhaps she was sick too and perhaps my Grandson-in-law too. I didn’t want to let them know that my imagination was going off the charts, but I thought of all the sick children I had seen in the hospital and how badly some had turned out. Finally, she texted me. She and the baby were fine, and he had a rash, but the doctor had said he would be okay, and it would go away in a few days. The worse thing about my children and grandchildren being away from home is that I only know what they want to tell me. I want to know it all so I can worry and keep them safe. I try to turn my worries over to God but as I said, I am big on control. When my children were in the hospital even as young adults it was not unusual for me to have heated discussions with hospital staff; these were my children they were messing with and beware my wrath. I went to the hospital once when my daughter had been in an accident. Seat belts weren’t really her thing and I just knew she had hit the windshield. When I walked hurriedly into the Emergency Room. I went to the desk and told them who I was, and they said that my daughter had told them to let me in right away and then I would be all right. They did and I was. She had hit the windshield but the cuts, although messy, were not bad and healed well. I want to be the calm Mom, Grandma and Great Grandma, that only expects the best, but I fail. I have to let go and let God.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.Hebrews 4:6-7
Lord When we pray help us to trust that you hear our petitions and are near. Give us your peace and quiet our fears. Be with those who are facing life altering decisions and those that are grieving. We grieve not only for our loss of those we love, Lord but also for our loss of self, our abilities, our strength, our independence; be with those who are going through this Lord, may they feel you near. Be with our church, may we reach out to those in need, those who are alone, those who seek you. Bless our Pastor, our staff and our leaders. Give them strength for the journey, perseverance for the tasks, love for the challenges, and our gratitude for their gifts. We pray in Jesus name. Amen